well…i’ll be expecting my fall shortly cause i been letting it go before me for quite some time : and this was the culmination.
it’s been two weeks since i and the other Shabazz parents attended the Xtreme Spirit Cheer Nationals : and i have not been able to stop obsessing over the vibrant charge that surged through me : as i watched this brilliant performance
i was initially hesitant about putting her into cheerleading : when her mother posed the question : my mind surely wondered : “what the hell does cheerleading have to do with revolutionary thought?” : : i was mum on the issue for a while : but auset : ever the tactician : cornered me : and demanded : that we must pick an activity for her before it was too late in the school year
the first year was rough : kindergarten can be like that : i had to constantly remind her : and shadow her : to make sure she was developing a good habit of attending practice : at the end of that school year : she missed tryouts for the following year : and we left the team behind for the summer : entered into a far less extraordinary program at the park district : and became dissatisfied over the whole matter : as of the beginning of this school year back in august : i negotiated with her coach to give her another tryout so that we could put her back on track : and i haven’t let up since
why? : you may ask : because i’m a hard ass : with a discipline deficiency that i have spent a lifetime trying to make up for : : but aside from that : i now see the payoff : the confidence that she exuded on that competition mat : is sure to carry her far in life : by god and the universe : that and the lessons of life : i tender to her each passing day : the focus on academics : the mapping out of extracurricular exploration : will form from itself a well rounded being : who will know well what to do with the aforementioned revolutionary thought : upon whence it takes root
from a tiny room with two queen beds : at the ramada inn : where her mother sat braiding her hair : to the kalahari resort : where someone we could not have yet imagined : did emerge and show herself glorious : we are now fully aware : that we have created a monster : and none of us would have it any other way
her mother is a gem herself : i sometimes sit in circles of brothers : where is lamented the situation of shared parenting : and i wonder : how it could be that relationships exist with such vitriol and detriment : to one another and the children : while we did not start off upon separation at such a place : we arrive here : and stand in proud awe : at both results : the road was turbulent : we each had to concede : that neither of us had the answers to it all : that we would have to haggle through some of those questions together : and better to do it in collective good humor : then at the threat of blue faces : and the forced holding of one’s breath : no : we can find civility : where each of us is centered
i picked up a book recently : at my holistic living course on wednesdays : by marian wright edelman : founder and president of the children’s defense fund : it was titled “guide my feet: prayers and meditations for our chidlren” : the first prayer is one for the gift and raising of children and it reads :
Dear God, I thank You for the gift of this child to raise, this life to share, this mind to help mold, this body to nurture, and this spirit to enrich.
Let me never betray this child’s trust, dampen this child’s hope, or discourage this child’s dreams.
Help me, dear God, to help this precious child become all You mean him to be.
Let Your grace and love fall on him like gentle breezes and give him inner strength and peace and patience for the journey ahead.
i am nothing of the religious sort : but as a meditation for precise parenting : this verse could not be more complete : or magnificent in its candor : and for all of the children : that are “your” children : *for as sister edelman reminds us : they all are* : may you open and close each day with the notion of this prayer firmly entrenched in the forefront of your mind : pride goeth before a fall : and i should be so lacking in pride that i can fall to my knees in meditation : that a tiny foot : small frame : and nimble body : can more easily climb atop my shoulders